An article appeared in my Facebook feed the other morning about a new popular style of parenting which is now being known as Submarine parenting. What I want to know is when did parenting become a battle and referred to in military items and terms…Helicopter, authoritarian and now submarine? I don’t know about you, but personally I do not want to battle my kids; I want to nurture them. Parenting is hard enough without putting these ideas of US against THEM into everyone’s heads. Especially our kids heads. I want them to feel like I am with them… not against them.
This whole idea about referring to our parenting in styles is new to me. I always have thought as parenting as a type not a style. In my The Don’t Freak Out Guide I talk about a few of them such as The Boss, The Supporter etc. While I still agree in those and do think they make sense and help deal with situations I have especially with Jacob my Aspie…Now that I think about things I think if I was too forced to give a name to the type of Parenting style I am it would be… the tree style! Yup you read right. Why a TREE? Well…
Trees are solid, yet flexible as their branches bend before they break.
Trees have roots which keep them grounded.
Trees change with each season, with each phase of life.
Trees are present, always responding to what is happening NOW!
Trees don’t take things personally.
Trees offer shade, shelter and protection.; yet you still can get wet if you stand under their branches.
By being a tree I hope my children will become self motivated instead of other motivated only doing things because I say so.
By being a tree I hope my kids will be able to advocate for themselves.
By being a tree I hope they will develop high self-esteem and become self confident- loving themselves just the perfect way they are NOW! Never feeling they must change to fit in or belong.
By being a tree I hope they have respect for themselves and others, and are able to take responsibility for their own actions- both those that are good and yes those that may not have been the best choices.
And I pray that by me being a tree, my kids will always know I am here for them…standing firmly and PROUDLY by their sides when they need me! Yup I think this TREE style of parenting is a better fit for us for sure.