I hate Snow! I know kind of strange way to start a post when I have not blogged in almost a year. But yup I went there. It’s not so much that I dislike the idea of it, as much as the reality of the aftermath of it all. You see we were one of the many who were ever so lucky (sarcasm) to have been hit by the historic Blizzard2016. Yup 3 feet of snow was dumped on our sweet little neighborhood causing schools and basically all of civilization as we know it to shut down for over a week while we dug ourselves out. Okay perhaps I am being a bit over dramatic but that is what it felt like. As I type this we still only have a one way street in front of our house which I am sure is going to cause quite the nightmare tomorrow morning during school drop off.
Anyway I tell you all this because even though hubby was out of the country for work unable to get a flight back meaning the kids and I were alone to ride it out and the shoveling afterwards… something happened during it all that even surprised me. At one point my back hurt so bad and I literally felt like I had nothing left and all the worry and emotion I thought I was hiding so well so that my kids Jacob and Bella * would not be frightened during all of it just came bubbling to the surface and I broke down in a puddle of tears. As I did my best to put my big girl panties back on my children did their best too… and they stepped up to the plate in ways I never knew they could. Jacob my sweet empathetic boy patted my back and told me he would help, that together we would shovel and that we would be fine. And it was not all talk either… he did help and he made shoveling fun too and every time I looked over at him I could not help but smile. At one point we both just laid down in the snow to rest and looked up at the big sky and well… it was breath-taking and so peaceful and I WOULD NEVER have done that if he hadn’t. Eventually with his help we made a small path and the next day I was able to dig us out… not that we were able to go anywhere but it felt great to be free.
And while we shoveled and shoveled, Bella* (who because of her asthma I made stay inside) took care of things inside. She made lunch and did the dishes for me and basically showed the same sweet empathy that her big brother did. I truly can say that when the going got tough my kids came together with me and we did what we needed to do to get through it! I cannot begin to explain how HUGE that feeling is and how proud it makes me!
Something else happened though during this mess. Instead of constantly looking down at all the mushy white mess at my feet, I started to look up. Okay I admit it at first I was looking up in a “Oh LORD Just Make It STOP!” manner but soon it was just to breathe. To just relax and truly count our blessings for it could have been FAR worse than it was. And that was when I saw the most the amazing sight. At the end of the day a gorgeous scene was painted in the sky that was truly inspiring. As the day of shoveling and anxiety and physical pain came to an end the SUNSET painted across the sky seemed almost like a promise to me, a reminder that a new day was right around the corner. A new day that had a blank page to write whatever stories we chose to write.
My dad always used to say, “No one would have ever sailed across the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm!” I’m sure he was not the original person who said it, so kudos to whoever did… but he said it to me quite often whenever I was feeling that things were too hard and I wanted to give up so I am crediting him. To be honest it is these things, the silly little bits of inspiration that he would so generously throw my way that I miss the most since he has passed. I think that is why I stopped writing on this blog for so long… I had forgotten to look up. I used excuses that it was too hard to keep up, that there was so much to do and well… no one is reading anyway. I had forgotten the reason why I started this blog way back in 2011 when I was weathering a very big STORM. I joked that writing this blog was cheaper than therapy. I wrote back then for myself and out of that I met some many wonderful people and so many incredible opportunities blossomed from that. But somewhere along the line I stopped looking up and when I did that I no longer saw the beautiful sunsets or just how far I have come. Instead all I saw were mountains of snow in my way that I needed help shoveling.
Its time to get back to my roots. It’s a New Day and I am excited to back on the ship and yup I am sailing straight into uncharted waters and that is both terrify and exciting at the same time. I’m starting a new BOOK to share with you all the things we are learning as we pull up anchor and push our way through the high school years. I’m in the process of starting a local print version of ZOOM Autism Magazine called Zoom disAbility which I hope to launch soon here in the Metro DC area. We are still also doing ZOOM Autism Online magazine and it is growing and getting better and better each issue. My original book, The Don’t Freak Out Guide to Parenting Kid’s With Asperger’s is still a Best Seller on Amazon and I am humbled by the emails I get from readers each week saying how much they could relate. My husband is still so supportive of me and never complains when I stay up all night when inspiration hits. And my sweet children are growing and becoming amazing young adults right in front of me. To be able to have this front row seat in watching it all happen is something I never take for granted.
So yes it is a NEW DAY. I even gave my blog a NEW LOOK to celebrate it. It’s time to batten down the hatches, set sail, put hand over fists and see where these old sea legs of mine can take us. I promise to remind you if you promise to remind me of my dad’s saying…
“No one would have ever sailed across the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm!”
All that said… I still hate SNOW!
*Just like Jacob decided he wanted me to use his REAL name rather than his nick name JAY in my book and my blog and on FB…Gracie Girl is now wanting me to use her REAL Name… well her Real Nick Name, we use in real life which is BELLA.