change As April approaches I feel compelled to come on here and post because I know that old blog post I wrote many moons ago may reappear and I want to clarify things. You see just like my kids have grown older and more mature and wiser… So have I.

Years ago when I first started blogging I was gun hoe trying to get the world to Light it up BLUE in April, raise money and support the Autism Speaks movement. But then I had the privilege of meeting so many autistic adults who have taught me so much. I am so grateful to these folks who are working so hard to pave the road that my boy and so many others will travel down. These incredible activists  have shown me to look at things in a different light, to view my son as a person who while most definitely is autistic, is also HUMAN and therefore worthy of the same dignity and respect that every other human on this planet is entitled to.

There are organizations out there, that yes I used to support like Autism Speaks, whose actions and words in their mission statement such as CURE and epidemic create fear. My son is nothing to be feared. Yes he has challenges and I will fight hard to give him the tools to deal with those challenges but that does not make him less than a person. Every person has challenges.

I cannot imagine how the words of Autism Speaks must make the autistic individuals out there feel. I would not want some organization trying to cure the womanliness or Jewishness from me… so why would I support an organization that would want to cure the autism from my son?

Yes people grow, things change, time changes and oh thank goodness beliefs and ideas do change too. I will not take down those old posts because well… hopefully one day someone will see them and see how and why my views changed and maybe just maybe they will think differently.

And to my wonderful incredible children who I have discovered do go online and read my stuff every so often. Please know that even at the beginning when I blogged and seemed angry and confused it was never at you. I too am human and had and still do have so much more to learn. I am living proof that you can teach an old dog new tricks. NEVER EVER forget that my dear ones. NEVER EVER let anyone else try to tell you how you should be or how you should feel. You my dear sweet children are perfectly imperfect which is a good thing because let me tell you trying to be perfect is so overrated and a complete waste of time and energy… I know because I have tried for so long! Be your beautiful unique selves. Embrace your challenges and learn from them if you can. There are no mistakes my loves… just lessons to learn from and yes… as you can see we never stop learning those lessons. I see a bright light burning in each of you and I am so excited to be a part of the journey you are both on to see what it is that ignites it! You are both so very special and loved so very much. Please know that I am here for you, ALWAYS. I will try hard to give you the space you need, to listen more and speak less, to encourage and respect your decisions even if they are different then the ones I would have made; and to always be here to give you a nudge when you need it, a hand to help you back up when you fall, and a hug when you think know one else cares.

April is coming. Our house will not be BLUE. We will not be making people aware of autism. In our house we will be celebrating each other!


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