Oh don’t raise your eyebrows over the title of this post… you know you have those days too. And if you say you don’t… YOU ARE LYING!
So why am I feeling rather carnivorous today, well perhaps the fact that my son has picked up this annoying habit of Questioning me on random things, when I KNOW HE KNOWS the answer already. It is as if he is just trying to prove to the world that he is smarter than me. Hello dear first-born… you don’t have to quiz mama I concede to that fact already.
Seriously our life these days is like living in an ongoing Jeopardy episode.
“I’ll take English Literature for $200 Alex.”
“The Author of Alice in Wonderland.”
Annoying Jeopardy music plays while I rack my brain for this information I know I know but that has been filed away so far under appointments for the dentist and carpool schedules. Finally I buzz in.
“Who is Lewis Carroll?”
“Correct. The board is still yours Mama what will be next?”
“I think I will stick with English Literature but this time for $300.”
” Dr. Seuss is his Pen name.”
Oh shoot I think to myself. Why did I have to make the kids Green Eggs and Ham (Which of course the boy would not eat in the house with a mouse over here or there or anywhere but at least I tried.) this morning as a pre Dr. Seuss birthday celebration. Does it count that I actually remember his birthday is tomorrow? For the life of me I could not think of his real name.Grace was about to burst out of her seat because she knew it. Jay was all smug and know it all-ish! I hate that look. Seriously and I hate the word hate but that is the only word that can describe the loathing I have for my son’s I know more than this adult look!
“We need an answer” Jay says in his best game show host voice.
“Who is Theodor something or another?” I say proud that at least I got the first name right.
In chorus both my smart ass children shout out to me, “Theodor Seuss Geisel, mom how do you not know that?” Ummmm, perhaps because these kind of random facts get pushed aside and replaced with latest tax laws and facts about presidential candidates. (In other words other useless facts.)
Then my dear boy, my precious baby boy whom I endured 14 hours of labor with says to his darling little sister…
“Awwww lets cut her break. After all she is a gazillion years old and we all know old people forget stuff.”
Then the obnoxious little turd turns to me and says, SLOWLY…
“It…is… O k! We are researching retirement homes on our free time!” Then he laughs and runs upstairs to finish getting ready for school.
As I said… there are some days I totally understand why some animals EAT their young!