Being a results Oriented Person SUCKS!!! But how do I change?

I have a confession…I am a results oriented person, and it sucks! There I said it! I have always been the go to person. If something needs to get done, go to Sharon and it will get done. I have always taken pride in this characteristic. But lately I am  feeling like this trait is more of a hindrance than a plus.

I have no problem doing something. The problem is that I expect to see the results of what I do… immediately! I am all about tracking my progress. The final outcome, the gain, the praise. When the “That a girls” don’t come or the “Likes” are not registered or when the comments are not left, well I feel lost… like I failed, was not good enough, did something wrong. For a person who has the need to succeed at everything… this is devastating.And by doing this, I someone how lose track of what is really important, the real reason for doing what I originally set out to do.

I cannot begin to tell you how much time I have wasted obsessing over whether or not people are reading my blogs, or more likely whether or not they are liking what I am writing. This constant need to be liked is exhausting. Seriously… it literally is exhausting. I will sit at the computer into the wee hours of the night after writing what I think is a good blog or posting what I thought was a good article I wrote for a magazine and refreshing the page to see if anyone has commented. I base my success on the number of likes. How unhealthy is that? I don’t take into consideration that other people have lives, other interests… kids with autism to deal with. HELLO!!!! It is an autism related blog for Christ sake and I am not taking into account that people may not have time to read my crap because they are actually dealing with AUTISM? WTF! What the H is wrong with me?

What has me even more upset about this recent discovery about myself is that I am so afraid that this really bad habit of mine is affecting my kids. What pressure am I unconsciously putting on them? If they see me always doing, always striving to be better, too be liked… what kind of message is that sending to them? Is it going to make them hard workers who never give up, or is it going to make them obsessive people- pleasers who are never able to stop and just be happy with what they accomplished for a minute instead of looking ahead to what they need to do next. God I hope not the later! My kids already have so much pressure, anxiety, without their mother f-ing them up! Is there a rehab for result oriented people?

I guess the first step is acknowledging their is a  problem. SO there I admit it.

Now being the result oriented person I am I will obviously need to come up with a plan to do something about it. I also will have to resist the urge to see if anyone else actually read this!

 

9 thoughts on “Being a results Oriented Person SUCKS!!! But how do I change?

  1. I’m the same way. I don’t know why we feel as if we need other people to validate what we have done. Its just the way it is.
    As far as changing, I got nothing. I’m in the same boat. *lol*

    1. So is it wrong of me to take comfort in the fact that I am not alone? I would say that we could start a club for people like us bernie but i would be afraid if it was not a success we would be upset! LOL

  2. Very Interesting you have looked at your self and said I find this flaw, now that you know it you can be conscience of it. However, you need to remember that you went on this journey to discovery yourself…not everything we see is positive but if it was how boring would we be??? You are making a difference in lives, if you help just ONE woman out there to feel like there is someone that gets it out there, is that not a sucess??? Keep it in prospective cousin……..you really are doing a good job. Time to take a deep breath and move forward.

  3. Well I like you even if I don’t comment on every blog you write. =) I am also a results oriented person. I finally got the validation I thought I deserved when I was named “volunteer of the year” at my kids school after 5 years of always being the go to person. That title was not rewarding as seeing my kids smile every time I showed up at school. That is where my real validation comes from! But on to the next project…lol.

  4. Sweetheart I read all of your blogs, they make me smile and they make me cry but I never miss any and when you publish something with a link I never fail to read it, you are good and I love your blog and the way you help others don’t let go of that. You are special Sharon. Take care

  5. I think we’re all a little bit like that, to a point. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of your labor. As for pressuring your kids–I doubt that. You’re a great mom. No one is perfect, but you’d never do anything to hurt your kids!

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