PART FOUR- Like the Phoenix, my Jay is learning to rise from the ashes!

“A mythical bird that never dies, the phoenix flies far ahead to the front, always scanning the landscape and distant space. It represents our capacity for vision, for collecting sensory information about our environment and the events unfolding within it. The firey bird rising from the ashes is a classic symbol of life and freedom and self-determination: nothing in this world can ever stop the phoenix. The phoenix gives us strength to carry on, and the will to succeed. The phoenix, with its great beauty, creates intense excitement and deathless inspiration.”
– THE FENG SHUI HANDBOOK, Feng Shui Master Lam Kam Chuen
 

 My Jay is a Phoenix. I don’t know why I never saw this before but he is. He truly inspires me. This past weekend was another example of this.

So here is Part Four of my tale. This is will be the final installment and in my opinion the best. The desert so to speak. The proof that even in our darkest moments, there is light. It may just be a spark or in this case, a huge bonfire for the world to see.

Sunday was a very special day. Jay and I spent the day alone. He was such a little man. He even held out his arm for me to wrap mine through. It was so sweet and will be a day I will treasure always.

It was a day that very easily could have been a bloody mess. It had sensory overload written all over it. From the Hibachi chef and his wild flames as he cooked in front of us, to having to wait in line for Harry Potter tickets, to watching an exciting movie like Harry Potter… and knowing that it is the final one, to them running out of his favorite ice cream at Ben & Jerry’s afterwards. And yet… he was fine.

No he was more than fine. He flourished. It was as if autism never existed. He carried on conversations with me, I mean actual give and take. Of course they were topics that he was interested in, but still I actually got to voice my opinions. He was charming and agreeable. It didn’t come easy for him, I could see him making visible efforts. That is the ironic thing… this was supposed to be a time that he did not have to work, where he could just be. But some how it was very important to him that we have a wonderful date. And we did.

I was on a high. I felt like we had turned the corner some how. We were going to be okay. But when you are up there is only one place you can go… and that is down.

That night life started handing me lemons, and instead of making lemonade I just became sour. Our landlord called to tell me that she never got the check, yet the money was missing from our account. This was the beginning of two days worth of phone calls and yelling to straighten everything out. Then my daughter came home from her all day outing with her friend and I found a Tick on her. That turned into a two-day ordeal where I freaked out and had to clean everything and everyone. When I am stressed… well lets just say it becomes contagious.  I even managed to turn my very calm and collected hubby into a bag of nerves.

But while I was falling apart, just about to kill the next person who put me on hold again, my little Phoenix started to rise. And it started with the dog.

I know I said it before, but this puppy of ours is special. I don’t know what it is about him, but he has connected with Jay. We have had 3 other dogs since we had Jay. 3 dogs which Jay never ever gave the time of day to. But Stanley… Stanley brings out the mythical bird in my boy.

I was doing another body and hair check of Grace when the dog started whining to go out. Jay on his own volunteered to take him. I was not sure as I knew the dog had to do number two which would require my boy to have to actually scoop poop. That is a major sensory no-no for him… but he did it. That is worth repeating… JAY WALKED THE DOG BY HIMSELF AND EVEN SCOOPED HIS POOP!!!

I was going to go on and tell you how he also got bit by his new hermit crab, how he gave himself a bloody nose and how he ended up melting down about 5 times the next day. I could also write about how I lost it big time. I am talking I melted down and honestly had to call Hubby and tell him that he needed to come home because if he didn’t I was afraid the men with white coats would take me away in a straight jacket.  But you know what, I am not going there.

Instead I am going to think about the Phoenix again. The firey bird rising from the ashes is a classic symbol of life and freedom and self-determination: nothing in this world can ever stop the phoenix. The phoenix gives us strength to carry on, and the will to succeed.

Jay is my phoenix. Every day he somehow manages to pull himself up out of the ashes. I love the idea of nothing in the world being able to stop my boy. Not autism or other people telling him he can’t do something. Jay gives me strength to carry on, and the will to succeed.

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