Can I Poop in Peace PLEASE?

I always dreamed of being a mom. I knew it would not always be hugs and kisses. I knew there would be tears and voices raised. What I did not ever image was that from the moment I gave birth I would no longer get a moment of peace in the bathroom.

When they were babies the only way I could get a shower was to bring them in with me. As long as the batteries worked in the vibrating bouncing chair, I could get a quick shower in and some days even blow my hair dry.

How naive I was to think that those days would eventually end when my children got older. How foolish to think that a child who can recite all the names of the Greek Gods would remember that a closed-door means KNOCK, then wait to be invited in. How silly to think that I could actually be able to do my business in private.

I cannot remember the last time I tinkled without having to answer questions at the same time. The last time I brushed my teeth without an audience. The last time I took a shower that lasted more than 5 minutes before someone came running in to tattle tale on the other.

But today words came out of my mouth that I never ever imagined I would ever have to say, “Can I Poop in Peace PLEASE?”

I understand I am a mom and with that title certain rights are stripped away. No longer do we have the right to finish an ice cream without someone asking for a lick. No longer do we have the right to listen to what we want to listen to on the radio while driving car pool. No longer do we have the right to watch what I want to watch on TV, see the movie I want to see or even pick the restaurant I would like to eat out. And I accept this.

But I do believe that WE MOMS do have the right to use the can without being bothered!  It should be included along with all our other inalienable rights for personal liberty. You know the right to bear arms, right to assemble, right to practice our religion and THE RIGHT TO POOP IN PEACE! 

I suddenly have the urge to sing God Bless America!

10 thoughts on “Can I Poop in Peace PLEASE?

  1. Hear, hear! I understand. LOL I’ve started locking the door now (when I remember) But, I still have to listen to them through the door. Have a great Thursday!

  2. We have one bathroom and although the kids have stopped (well pretty much) bugging me while I am sitting on the throne, they often want to use the bathroom while I am in there. I tell them to cross their legs and pretend they have a teacher bladder! I think Lurch just goes outside and uses a tree in the back yard… Works for me!

    1. My heart goes out to you with just one bathroom. For us it is not the NEED to us ethe bathroom issue… it is just the NEED to have to talk to me right then at that moment. Just like when I get on the phone. They can be perfectly fine… but I pick up the phone and there they are at my feet complaining, asking, arguing… you get the picture! They don’t do it to their father though. Hmmmmm

    1. Mom I am more worried about the crazy things, the things that I swore would never come out of my mouth… the things YOU SAID… that are now starting to come out of my mouth!

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