Let me off this Emotional Rollercoaster PLEASE!!!

The one thing that I don’t think I will ever get used to with all this autism stuff… is how quickly things change. I am talking emotions.. and not my son’s, mine! (Although his emotions certainly do change quickly as well.) One day I am feeling proud as a peacock riding on a victory high and full of hope. And the next day, I feel like I have been punched in the stomach, the world is spinning and well I just want to get off this emotional roller coaster!

I just found out that my son’s school is set to lose one Special Education teacher and one Special Education Assistant this upcoming 2011-2012 school year. I had heard this was a possibility but now it seems to be set in stone. The IEP population at the school continues to increase and yet the resource staff gets smaller and smaller. We have some of the best Resource teachers I have ever seen, however they are already spread too thin. How in the hell can they possibly take on more students? I just don’t get it.

Many of the special needs parents have started to voice our concerns in a more formal way. We are starting respectfully with the school administration but are ready to take it higher to the County School Board. But deep down I fear that it is all in vain. Decisions have been made and I am not sure even raised voices will be heard. Even if they hear us… they will most likely turn a deaf ear.

And so I am left numb. What will this mean to my son next year? I am not sure. What will it mean to the other kids who already have IEPs? I am not sure.What about those who will be overlooked, the kids who should have an IEP but won’t because the teachers just don’t have the time to see them, to hear them to help them!

What makes me even more scared, is that I am afraid that part way through the year the school will finally come to their senses and hire back those resource staff members and then start shuffling kids around. We all know that most of our kids do not do well with change. How can that possibly be a good thing for anyone?

I was already feeling a little sad today. I mean in two days my kids will graduate from 4th and 2nd grade. They are getting so big and although that makes me happy… well it makes me a little sad too. But I could deal with that, because I had hope that next year, next year was going to be another great year for both of them. I am not so sure of this anymore. Jay flourished this year, he bloomed and made huge leaps and bounds and it is in part due to all the hard work, effort and patience of his special education teacher. Jay was in an inclusive class but the resource teacher was there to help him, to pull him out when he got overwhelmed, to encourage him, to be his biggest fan. How can she do this if she is taking on more students? It is not physically possibly. Or worse yet… what if she is the one let go? Jay would be devastated… I would be devastated.

I have never really liked roller coaster rides. They jerk you around, make your head spin and leave you with a nauseous feeling. Would someone PLEASE tell the operator to let me off this one! I would much rather be on a nice carousal ride instead. You still may go round and round but at least there are no surprises.

8 thoughts on “Let me off this Emotional Rollercoaster PLEASE!!!

  1. I hear ya. Here, our EAs are moved from school to school, so we don’t know if our kids will have the same ones from year to year. We’ve been lucky so far that all our EAs have been fantastic, but there’s always the chance that come September, we’ll get one that isn’t. It’s the not knowing that drives me mental … and brings me down.

  2. Our schools are letting people go too, so I know what you mean. Our kids seem like the first to lose out when money’s tight. The roller coaster sucks…we have it even when school is out. Behavior changes often, and we go from a relatively peaceful stretch to one that is challenging and worrisome.

    It’s not easy…

  3. School cuts are going all around. My daughter’s kindergarten class had two Down syndrome kids in her class this past year and the teacher had no help for the first couple of months! Finally she did get a special ed. assistant (from much complaining on her part from what I gathered). This will probably be what it takes, input from the teachers saying how the new changes are not working. Hang in there! Our school is proposing cutting the entire music program. Not sure if this one will go through, but if it does parents will be responsible for introducing their kids to music and paying for all lessons. And I guess the school’s marching band will be very small or even nonexistent one day.

  4. I know how you feel. I never liked roller coasters either yet here we are with our everyday lives-a continual ride. I like emotional stability & it seems that God wants me to go without it. Just take one step at a time, & deal with the rest as it comes. It’s hard to see any encouragement when you’re in the middle of situations like this, but I hope you find some peace & hope knowing that everything will work out okay in the end.


  5. Yikes! I can see where that would be scary for your family. I’m sure its a sense of helplessness as well. Good for you and the other parents being active and writing letters. At least its a start.
    I hope this gets sorted out soon.

  6. I enjoy your Facebook page!! I’m a grandma with a teen grandson who
    Has aspergers!! I read everything!!!

    1. Thanks Barbara and welcome. I would love to hear about your grandson. I am always curious to see what is in store for me… a little afraid too I must admit! Have you entered my Giveaway contest for a weighted blanket yet? Just leave a comment on the review and giveaway post saying you follow me my Facebook Page and then follow DreamCatchers on Facebook and leave a comment saying you did that and you will be entered twice! That simple! They will custom make the blanket for your grandson up to 15lbs. The average is 1lb of weighted blanket for every 10lbs the child weighs and then an extra lb for good measure. Good LUCK!

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