The Three Little Pigs

This post was written in response to the prompt at The Lightening and The Lightening Bug. Rewrite or modernize your favorite fairy tale or take a story (book, movie, play, or memory) and turn it into a fairy tale.

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS
Mama Pig sat impatiently in her seat. The moment she had dreamed about was finally here; her Three Little Pigs were graduating from college. Mama glanced down at her graduation program and then at the flyer for the adult singles community in Boca Raton. She could almost feel the heat of the sun and the sand beneath her feet… but first she would need to get her freeloader sons out of her sty.

The First Little Pig was a slacker. He was lazy and had never worked a day in his life, and he certainly did not plan on starting to do so now that he had graduated. So when his college girlfriend, Sooie, suggested that he move in with her, he jumped at the opportunity.

It was a HOG’s Life. He spent the day sitting around the apartment in his underwear drinking beer and playing Wii. Sooie paid the rent, Sooie paid the utilities and Sooie paid for the groceries. But one day, Reality finally came a knocking.

“Little Pig, Little Pig let me in.” said Big Bad Reality

“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!” said the pig.

“Then I will huff and puff and blow your door down.” And with that the door to the apartment flew open and there stood Sooie. She told the Little Pig that she was tired of his sponging off her and that she wanted him out… NOW! And so, the Little Pig gathered his belongings and moved back home to Mama.

Unlike the First Little Pig, the Second Little Pig worked very hard. He was a real Pig…I mean Lawyer. He was good too. In fact he recently had Hansel and Gretel convicted for breaking and entering into the witch’s house. The children got two years of community service and had to pay for all property damage caused by their negligent eating.

He loved working with the evil and the bad. They were the ones with the money after all. Money mattered to the Second Little Pig. Money allowed him to live in a trendy penthouse in the city. His home was filled with lavish furnishings and the most up to date electronics. Every night when he got home he would pour himself a Brandy, light a Cuban Cigar and sit on his balcony to appreciate the expensive view he paid for. Money and Power was all he needed. Who cared about family? Hell, he could buy himself one if really wanted to; which of course he did not. He was carefree and single and that was the way he liked it. Oh sure he had his share of swine… but he was not about to let one of those porkers get their hooves on him. But one day, Reality finally came a knocking.

“Little Pig, Little Pig let me in.” said Big Bad Reality

“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!” said the pig.

“Then I will huff and puff and blow your door down.” And with that the door to the penthouse flew open and there stood a sow with a piglet in one arm and legal papers in another. It seemed the Second Little Pig was a daddy and now he was being sued for child support. The sow won her case, along with a hefty settlement and the Second Little Pig was forced to move out of the swanky Penthouse and back home with Mama.

The Third Little Pig was practical. He stayed living with Mama Pig for several years until he had enough saved to be able to put 30% down on a cute little cottage in the woods. It was a fixer upper so he got a great deal. The Third Little Pig took his time and turned the cottage into a real home. Then he asked his childhood sweetheart to be his bride. The two were very happy. They had a nice little nest egg and therefore thought they were ready to start a family of their own. Life was not always easy for them, but they had always managed to do fine because of their planning. But one day, Reality finally came a knocking.

“Little Pig, Little Pig let me in.” said Big Bad Reality

“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!” said the pig.

“Then I will huff and puff and blow your door down.” The Third Little Pig had prepared for such a day. He braced himself, ready to deal with whatever was to come. And with that the door to the cottage flew open and there stood his bride with a beautiful baby piglet in her arms.

Mama Pig and the other Pigs raced over to see the Piglet. The First Little Pig and the Second Little Pig stopped in their tracks. Reality had come knocking.

The Piglet had Autism.

Mama and the other pigs cried but the Third Little Pig and his Bride did not. Reality may have come knocking, but that did not mean it was Big and Bad. They were practical Pigs and knew that it would not be easy raising this special little piglet, but they also knew just how wonderful it would be too. They had been chosen to be the parents of this precious little bundle, and they were ready!

And as for Mama Pig… well she never did make it to Boca. Her first two sons were quite content living with her. But that was fine, because it meant she was just over the river and through the woods away from her Grandpiggies, and she could not think of a better place to be.

The End

7 thoughts on “The Three Little Pigs

  1. Oh my goodness this is SO adorable! Every time I got comfy with how great it was, you threw something in to make it even greater!!! You, my friend, are an excellent writer. Your use of fairy tale terms (i.e., Mama Pig living just over the river and through the woods) was consistent and hilarious throughout, and everybody seemed to get the reality they needed.

    Beautiful when the baby piglet turned out to have autism, and the parents were the only ones who didn’t cry. Looks like that baby piglet got the reality he needed, too! In the form of wonderful parents. :’) I got chills and tears; double whammy!

  2. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my story! I actually had a different path in mind when I started writing but then it sort of took a path of its own. I guess I some how always lead back to autism. It is my reality after all. I do try to make it all not so doom and gloom because it is NOT! We have our days but mostly we have a lot of laughs! I really loved your fairy Tale poem! so very sweet. I look forward to reading more of your stuff Eden.

  3. Oh, Sharon! What a lovely job you did with this! seriously, you wove this tale flawlessly. From the “Sooie” pig name (HA!) to the third little pig with his practical ways and his version of reality that is neither big nor bad. I really can’t say enough about this. Eden said it perfectly, “every time I got comfortable with how great it it was, you threw something in to make it even greater!” I couldn’t have said it better myself. Not a word or an image was out of place. It was JUST RIGHT…which reminds me of another fairytale and a girl with golden hair. 🙂 Nice job, and thanks so much for linking up. Another talented lightning bug to add to our little jar!!!

  4. Well, I think that you did a fantastic job re-writing the Three Little Pigs into tale of money-grubbing hogs. You made me laugh, with the lawyer thing but then brought me right back in reality with the story of the third little pig. He and his bride sound like a level-headed, lovely and strong couple who were given a gift to love. So happy linked up!

    1. After I pushed published it came to me that it would have been funnier if the Lawyer pig had a trophy wife who got tired of being on the shelf and left his sorry ass… and of course took him to the cleaners. Then it would make the baby piglet of the third little pig stand out more but oh well. There is is just so much juicy material when you talk about lawyers! LOL Thank you for reading and commenting! Really appreciate it!

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