Hubby loves to go grocery shopping! I know can you believe it? I on the other hand despise it. I can think of twenty million things I would rather do than grocery shop. Where hubby takes his time lingering down the aisles and eating all the free samples they pass out (Perhaps that has something to do with him liking it so much), I race through grabbing stuff off the shelf in such a hurried frenzy you would think I was trying to catch a bus.
I can’t send the man alone to do shopping. If I did that he would come home with everything but what I wrote on his list, and then I would need to go back myself anyway. So… this means we usually go together on the weekend… which means we have to drag our two minions with us as well. If anyone hates grocery shopping more than me it is my kids. I think they would prefer going to the dentist than the grocery store.
But this past weekend was filled with parties and friends. It was a beautiful fun fast paced two days which allotted zero time for shopping. It also left our cupboards bare. I am talking Old Mother Hubbard bare! SO yesterday I put on a pretend Happy Face and went to the store by myself.
Now there are some benefits to grocery shopping by myself. First, no nasty behaving children going on and on about how they MUST HAVE POP TARTS or else they will just die. In fact I was even able to snicker at the poor lady shopping with her preschooler who was begging her for candy! She finally in desperation caved in. SUCKER!
Second, No annoying husband telling me to buy the expensive steaks which he promises to throw on the grill , which we all know is not going to happen in this life time. (Unless of course there is some buddy of his he has invited over to dinner and forgotten to tell me about.)
And lastly… my favorite reason, well at least yesterday: THE GORGEOUS NEW cashier! Ladies I am talking GREEK GOD! He was not handsome…. he was Pretty. You know high cheekbones, chiseled chin, long eyelashes, golden hair with blue eyes! Okay you get the picture.
Before I go any further I just want to say that I have an extremely good-looking husband. He is still very much in shape, he dresses well and HE STILL HAS ALL HIS OWN HAIR. Even after almost 16 years of being together, I am still very much attracted to my husband. I have even been known to become somewhat jealous, but also flattered, when other women notice just how handsome he is. But hell… I am human and not blind. So if a cutie just so happens to float down from heaven, and I swear this one did, well then wouldn’t it be a sin if I did not notice him?
There were two check out lines. One with the regular gal we usually check out with. She is a sweetie and always smiles and talks to my kids and pretends to not hear me when I yell at them. My kind of lady. And then there was Apollo’s line.
Guess which when I went in?
Hell yeah… hubby wasn’t with me!
But ladies, some people are meant to be looked upon from a far. Apollo was just as handsome up close… but then he opened his mouth.
First off he sounded like he had marbles, or perhaps a wad of tobacco stuck in there. What I heard and what he said… VERY different things.
I heard: “Do YOU Freaking Chomping Hard!”
(Just imagine the face I made and the LOUD “WHAT” I said!)
After he repeated this three times, I finally figured out that he really meant: “Do you have a Frequent Shoppers Card!”
Things went down hill from there. First off this guy was slow as molasses. Sweet regular girl was able to check out three customers while I was there. He also could not scan and pack at the same time it seems. This confused him. After catching him sticking my bag of tomatoes in with the laundry detergent, I told him I would finish bagging myself.
After what seemed like an eternity, I finally was able to pay. I needed cash back but was afraid to confuse pretty boy so went without it. I left the store thinking that it is a good thing this kid is cute because he definitely ain’t smart!
But he really was cute. Well that was what I thought until I got home and started unpacking my stuff. There were a few bags that he packed while I was going through my coupons that I did not see. One of them was a bag where he put MY SUGAR FREE VANILLA WAFER COOKIES in with a six-pack of bottled water! Of course Hubby’s cookies were fine. Hmmm… Karma maybe?
The Moral of my story is: Don’t be fooled by all the pretty packaging, oh and also… pack your own Dam cookies or else you will be forced to eat crumbs when you are PMSing!
And honey if you are reading this: anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special to catch your heart