Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be blogging about a tiny fish eraser… but that is exactly what I am doing… AGAIN! It seems Jay is stuck on this. When I picked him up at school yesterday he was crying AGAIN. This time it was because someone threw out his reward poster. Yup… you read correctly. Jay somehow convinced two kids in his class to make reward posters for the missing fish eraser. A tiny 3/4″ eraser. One of those that come in bulk for like $2 a gross. This is what my son is upset about loosing. But it was not even all of these… it was just one. The blue, pink and green one to be exact.
When Jay gets like this there is no reasoning with him. For some reason this eraser meant the world to him. No one could possibly understand just how much so. I know this because he screamed those exact words at me several times. Nothing I said could console him. He was so upset that he woke up hubby who was sleeping because he is working midnight shift this week. In an effort to just get him to calm down, my husband suggested we have a memorial service for the missing fish… ERASER! (I am blaming his lack of sleep for this!) Jay loved the idea. He wanted all of us to say something special about Mr. Magic (yes that is what he named his eraser). Gracie volunteered to make a fake fish out of toilet paper that we could symbolically flush down the toilet. (I know we are a strange bunch.) She even made a special R.I.P. sign. Look carefully and you will see she wrote the years on the tombstone. Too cute
And so after his homework was complete we all gathered around the toilet for a special service. I really should put Jay in acting classes because he was very dramatic. Remember… this was not a real fish… it was an eraser, that he lost! Still he was very serious and even had to turn away to recompose himself. I could not help but snap a picture.
This was what I said during the service, and yes I said it with a straight face.
“I did not know Mr. Magic very well. What I did know about him was that he was very special to Jay, and for that I am thankful. Wherever you are Mr. Magic, I hope you know that Jay loved you very much.”
While putting Jay to bed he thanked me for saying what I said about Mr. Magic and for understanding that he was important to him. I felt so guilty. I was making such light of the whole thing, but to Jay the service was important. The service was very real. He needed the closure. There is a stereotype out there that people with autism don’t feel, they don’t care about things, they are just lost in their own world. Every day my son proves that stereotype wrong. He feels with every ounce of his being. He is so in the moment. He cares. We all can learn from my boy.
There is really only one way I can end this post and that is by saying, “Rest in Peace Mr. Magic!”