Hubby and I got into a little disagreement yesterday about Jay and his new need to have a good luck charm. I get the importance of good luck charms really I do. Believing that good luck comes to us because of a special coin, a 4 leaf clover, rabbit’s foot or in Jay’s case a tiny fish eraser may seem superstitious, but it is more the intention of the symbol. Energies work through symbols, I get that. These charms or symbols make him feel better… I get it. Really I do get this. I also get that when he looses them… which he always seems to do, he is devastated. This is why I have been trying to pry these little charms out of his hands. I am trying to get him to understand that special things should remain home, so they don’t get lost. (Remember the pencil episode? Obviously Hubby did not!)
I was the one who picked up Jay from school. When he saw me he burst into tears. “I lost my fish. He is gone mom. I lost my fish!” I was the one who calmed him down enough to walk home. I was the one to convince him that special things should stay at home. He was sad but he got the point. And then hubby, not wanting to see his boy upset turned around and gave him a handcuff key from the necklace off his own neck and told him it could be his new lucky charm. Hello… can you please work with me here? Once again…I get it. I don’t like seeing my boy upset either. I also will not like seeing my hubby get upset when, and I say when not if, Jay looses the key!
I know in the big picture of things this is really not that big of a deal. I should be grateful that I have a hubby that cares that much about his kids. The charm is really not what this blog is all about though. The real issue is that parents… especially parents of special needs children, need to be on the same page. That is much easier to say, or in this case to write, then do. If I am telling Jay that a good luck charm is nice but that he needs to keep them home and not depend on them at school, and then hubby turns around and hands him a new good luck charm and tells him go ahead and take it to school… well what does this mix message do to Jay? He already has his wires crossed without us confusing him anymore.
Hubby eventually turned the page he was on and caught up to me in the story and understood where I was coming from. Together we talked to Jay. Jay told us that he would use the key at home while doing his homework. “I can use all the extra luck and help I can get”, he said with a smile.
As for me… I think I can use a good luck charm of my own to help get me through times like this. Anyone have an extra lucky coin, 4 leaf clover, rabbit’s foot or heck even a fish eraser I can borrow? I promise to not take it to school!