It is finally here… World Autism Awareness Day. You would think I would be out celebrating but I am not. I am sitting here in my pajamas. Granted they are blue but still it is almost 2pm and I am wearing Pajamas. I was feeling rather guilty about this until I started reading several of the Blogs I have found from the Autism Community. It seems that my nonchalant attitude about the day is normal. Don’t get me wrong. I am proud that today exists and it makes my heart swell with pride and appreciation when family and friends tell me they are wearing blue today and lighting up their homes. But today will come and go. For us Autism Awareness Day is every day.
I am new at expressing all this… I honestly feel like I am just coming to terms with Jay and his Autism. The past month I have pushed myself and done my best to raise my voice in awareness. I have fought harder than ever to understand my baby and what his needs really are. My story is different from all the other families with Autistic children and yet it is the same. There is so much more I want to do. I feel like this is what I am supposed to do. I need to be my baby’s voice. But I am tired too. I have pushed so hard that I am sick and exhausted. So today, on World Autism Awareness Day I will allow the rest of the world to raise their voice for the cause. I will sit back in my pajamas and watch as the Empire State Building glows blue. I will watch the public service announcements on TV and hope that they are reaching someone. Today I will order a pizza for dinner and watch the Kids Choice Awards, with their green slime, and I will not think about how I should have written that letter sooner and what I will do differently for next year. Today I will just enjoy a pajama day with my kids. Because I know, just like every other parent of an autistic child, that every day is Autism Awareness Day for us.
If you really want to read something beautiful, someone who truly knows how to explain what this is all about then please go to : http://adiaryofamom.wordpress.com/
Jess is a mom, a writer and an advocate with a voice that is truly being heard. She is my hero. Jess if by chance you read this, know that you having nothing to be sorry for… the White House may not be Blue this year but it will next. I have no doubt of that!
Happy World Autism Awareness Day Everyone!